Karen the Personal Trainer

jumping lungesThere are two things I hate.  One, people who makes New Year’s resolutions, and two, people who break their little halfhearted pleas before the end of the first month.  What, did you just come up with the goal without any idea of the action steps required to achieve it?  Do you think that’s how people win gold medals, set world records, or even dominate the community bowling team?  Now, that fact that you all enrolled in my “New Year, New You” boot camp shows that you’re probably here on the strength of resolution.  A wish.  A wish you made while sitting in your pajamas eating cookies, a thought that although you had been sitting in your pajamas eating cookies for almost every night that week, you weren’t really that kind of person.  You’re no cookie monster.  You’re fit – an athlete.

And you know what?  You’re wrong.

You’re a sugar-eating, fantasy-land-living, muscle-tone-lacking cookie monster.  And I want you to know that before we do even one exercise here today.  I haven’t had a cookie in 14 years.  Just so you can visualize the gulf between you and me.

OK, get up.  Let’s start with some jumping lunges.  No puking allowed.


This entry was posted in A Dying Dream, Appearence, Athletics, Careers, Character, Competition, Exercise, Food, Hobbies, Monologue and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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