1. Hitting Hector Martinez in the face during 8th grade gym class, which led to Mr. Clannaugh sending me home , which led to me catching my father making his girlfriend silver dollar pancakes while my mother was at work.
2. Pulling the screws out of my father’s desk chair so he fell and broke his tailbone, couldn’t work and went on disability so I had to go to state school instead of Vanderbilt.
3. Lied to the dean of students about what happened at the frat house during the Halloween 2003 party so Janice was kicked out of school instead of me and promptly went and got pregnant.
4. Was so upset about Janice being gone that I drank too much and was too hung over to finish my final term paper for Busines Platforms so instead of a double major in Business and Psych, I only have Psych.
5. Couldn’t get a job doing anything business-related and had to take an unpaid internship at the medical association website company where I met Dan.
6. Dan’s boss (who really liked me) saw us eating dinner together and started to bully Dan at work to the point where he seemed really emasculated to me so I broke up with him and quit the internship and had to take it off my resume.
7. The security guard referred me to Julia at the catering company who needed me for the Christmas party at the university house, where I spilled red wine on the president’s oriental carpet.
8. The $2,000 in carpet cleaning wiped out my bank account, got me fired, I defaulted on my student loans and met Chris over the phone while I was trying for a hardship deferment.
9. We moved into his house in Edgewater and I met Tanya taking out the trash and she told me that she was going to fire her assistant because she smelled and I convinced her to hire me instead.
10. After 5 months I found out through accessing Tanya’s email that she has been siphoning money from the company for three years and falsifying the financial statements and now the company was going to go bankrupt. She also has one less foster child then she received payment for.
Should I tell anyone? Does it matter?