Keene’s Craiglist Query

Online AdsHi all,

So this ad is a little out of the ordinary.  I’m not looking for a “massage,” or a used end table or someone that I saw in passing on the Red line last week.  I’m looking for a qualified, honest best friend.  OK, so why would anyone want to be best friends with me, a guy who had to advertise online?  Well, here are some reasons:

I’m very kind

I keep secrets extremely well – you don’t have to worry about me gossiping behind your back

I’m a perfectly balanced introvert/extrovert – you can have your alone time, and we can also have fun times together

I don’t lie

I think all kinds of jokes are funny, so I will always laugh at you!

I make homemade tea bags

I have many microfleece blankets for watching movies and being sad together, or alternately, staying inside on raining days and drinking tea made from my homemade tea bags as we discuss progress toward our life goals

What I ask of you:

You can carry on a conversation for hours, even if I can’t think of anything brilliant to say in return

You don’t come from a broken home

If you have a significant other, they will accept me as your best friend and encourage us to spend time together alone

You don’t judge me

You want to tell me when something funny/bad/good happens to you.

That should be enough info for you to know if you fit the bill.  If you need someone like me in your life, call the number below.  SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY, PLEASE!

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This entry was posted in Character, Friendship, Hobbies, Internet, Language, Love, Monologue, Relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

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