Ted’s Calculations

Nerd LoveJocelyn is just not the one for me, he reassured himself as he pulled the car up to the curb.  It’s for the best that things ended as they did.  He was only here to get his last few Wii discs and the final carton of his freshman year textbooks.  He had mastered every course, but he knew it would help him later in life to pretend as if he needed to brush up on his macroeconomics like everyone else when in actuality, he had memorized the book exactly three days into the course.  He planned to become a big time captain of industry with or without her.  Yes, there were flashier guys than him on campus – but he chose to wear glasses and he preferred collared shirts.  He liked to feel crisp throughout the day, and glasses lent him an air of intellectualism that he strived to live up to.

She had been the final piece of the puzzle, a curly-haired Southern belle who balanced his seriousness with her syrup, showed others that he was fun and attracted dynamic people.  He gave her gravitas and she gave him social cachet. These thoughts were fine to have, of course, but he should never have written those clinical observations down – and in his day planner, no less!  So he couldn’t even accuse her of snooping.  He’d asked her to go into his planner and pick a good date for them to go to the symphony (and fine, also a weekend to go to the rodeo at her insistence), and she’d seen his entire breakdown of her positive and negative characteristics, one weighed against the other in a very balanced equation.  She’d screamed so loud and so long that he couldn’t even tell her that she was the first person he’d ever created a balanced equation for, that she was the only one in his life not to end up in red after the final calculations.  Her hysterical response, however, had tipped the scale just enough to put her out of favor.  He didn’t feel a thing as she ended it and stormed away.  It was only on the ride over that he admitted that he didn’t need the books or the games, but he still had a curious and inexplicable desire to go to the rodeo with her.

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