Lonnie’s Late Night Breakdown

Kraft SinglesIt was the cheese.  Always with the cheese.  She made it all day long without cravings, truly enjoying her fresh arugula salad with strawberries and pine nuts, her 1% Greek yogurt, the tiny pieces of salmon covered with reduced soy sauce.  Truly, they were all wonderful.  And it had worked – she was closer to her goal weight now than ever before, and soon she thought David would agree that they were ready to start trying for a baby.  He was so strict with her, keeping her on this diet, but she needed it – he was right, a womb lined with potato chips and French fries was simply inhospitable to the type of child (son, really, if she was going to be honest) that would carry on the Fisher name.  So she had been on the diet for 3 months and just about met all of his pre-qualifying standards for pregnancy.  The cheese was the only thing standing between her and the 9 lb, future Harvard MBA child of their dreams (son of David’s dreams).  The equation was simple – 3500 calories = a pound of fat.  She was only eating 1400 calories a day and burning 300 on the rowing machine, so she should definitely be at her goal weight by now.  But she continued to buy and keep Kraft singles under her bed, warm and gooey and comforting.  She knew she needed to stop – it was only a matter of time before David found them and confronted her with not only the cheese, but the secrecy and the lack of hygiene that allowed her to eat the hot pieces of pasteurized milk that lived under their mattress.  He might even try to involuntarily commit her again.  She knew all this.  But some days, she just needed a neon orange piece of cheese or 5 to get to sleep.  And that was her own personal business.

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