If I mess up and doublebook patients one more time this week, I’m going to take that braided rope I got to add to my ceiling-to-floor curtains as a decorative touch and just strangle myself. This new computer system is supposed to prevent me from making these brainless, unforgiveable mistakes – how does it look to have your life coach call and be like, “Ummmm, actually can you come in at 5pm instead of 12pm? I know you like to schedule for your lunch break because you’re thinking of quitting your marketing executive job and trying to become a character actor but you don’t want your wife to find out because she loves your apartment more than you, but sorry, I can’t use my computer calendar and I doublebooked you with a man who pretends to eat lightbulbs for attention and wants to know why he would do something like that and is it related to repressed childhood abuse?” God, I’m just as lost and diseased as they are – who am I to try to create relief from their problems, give them visualization and meditation exercises to take their minds off the fact that yes, they’re right, they are living their lives completely and utterly pointlessly and worse, no one cares? I mean, I can’t betray myself as one of them. Just as inadequate and mindless. Simon T. would jump off a roof in two seconds flat without me lending a caring ear to his tales of brand inadequacy at the dry cleaners. Martina M. would cut off all 10 toes if I ever stopped giving her dance visualizations and deep breathings to do when she’s stuck underground in the subway. No, these people need me. I should go back to the old written calendar. A good life coach needs to know when to move forward and when to stay in the present. I can make this into a teachable moment for my next book.
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- The Huntington Ladies’ Book Club – February Meeting
- Pickle the Cheetah
- Karen the Personal Trainer
- Morton the Worm at the Usury Office
- My 5 Favorite Musicals and Why, By Carla Cioca:
- Mumu the Irrelevant Mime
- Tiny Tim – Post Revisted
- Ten Prior Moments that led Jenna to this Point:
- The O. Henry Affair
- Ben’s Night Out