It figured that just as she got old enough to really have to struggle her appearance, everyone knew about the dangers of smoking and tanning and diet supplements. Why couldn’t I have been born thirty years ago, Marilee despaired as she struggled to get the size 8 dress over her hips. Then instead of running and Pilates and ridiculously complex Zumba classes, I could just smoke and dilute the pounds away. Her brother’s wedding wouldn’t be as a tortuous event as it was today, with her healthy one-pound-per-week weight loss plan – and that was eating entirely according the Weight Watchers system and getting her 300 weekly minutes of cardio. Her body just wasn’t meant to be thin naturally and diet and exercise seemed like extreme measures to it. Her knees creaked and wobbled in alarming ways after a three-mile run, and her stomach churned all day long trying to digest all those 0-point vegetables. If I could just eat a piece of bread and cheese, one delicious, crusty slice of baguette and dollop of creamy Brie, then smoke half a pack, it would be so easy. So much better than this. But she was a doctor and knew better, so instead she ate the celery sans peanut butter and jumped rope at 5:00am in her pajamas before her shift began. But cancer be damned, how much easier these things used to be.
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- The Huntington Ladies’ Book Club – February Meeting
- Pickle the Cheetah
- Karen the Personal Trainer
- Morton the Worm at the Usury Office
- My 5 Favorite Musicals and Why, By Carla Cioca:
- Mumu the Irrelevant Mime
- Tiny Tim – Post Revisted
- Ten Prior Moments that led Jenna to this Point:
- The O. Henry Affair
- Ben’s Night Out