Grandma Doris’ Commute

Noise Canceling HeadphonesI really hope no one can hear what I’m listening to.  My son promised that these headphones were sound canceling on both sides – I can’t hear the other people on the bus, and they can’t hear what I’m listening to.  I certainly hope that’s true.  I try to keep my face blank and passive as the bus lurches along (luckily I have an aisle seat today, usually I have to stand in the accordion as we speed along the highway) but every once in a while a lyric comes along that’s so ludicrous, suggestive or downright incomprehensible that I can’t help but chortle.  Rhyming words with themselves ie, “I can’t get enough of your love/Looking at you, you’re my true love”, internal rhymes that don’t make sense, throwing words in that have the correct number of syllables without any regard for what their actual meaning is – it seems unbelievable to me that songs this shoddily written would be allowed to be sold, but it really appears to be the beat that matters most.  You can say anything over a thumping, high-paced beat.  When the doctors told me I needed to relax on my commute, I think they meant practicing deep breathing or knitting, activities deemed relaxing for grandmas as if we all become one single entity with the same tastes and interests after age 65.  Resigned, I bought some darning needles before I remembered how easy it is for me to relax at Sophia’s hip hop dance recitals, the throbbing beat lulling me into a near-comatose state, similar to what I felt on the morphine after my hip replacement.  Even the sight of 8 year old girls in baby shorts can’t get my blood boiling.  I love to watch them dance frantically to Britney Spears, Katy Perry, Ke$ha and of course, Gaga, as my eyelids droop to halfmast and I let the wave of incomprehensible words wash over me.  I do that now, with my sound canceling headphones on the 146 bus.  The lyrics might be inappropriate, but hearing the bass and the beats pounding through my brain keeps me calm, so calm, for the entire 45 minute commute.

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