So I tried the different pedicure place today. The one Liz recommended and said was like thirty-something dollars less than Capital Nails. My pedicure was fine, actually, for the amount of money – no paraffin wax, but acceptable water temperature and buffing pressure to get me through the week. The woman wore gloves though, which I found mega-insulting. It’s like, sweetie, if you’re implying that my foot is dirtier than your hand, you’re outta your mind. But beyond that weird plastic texture feel while I got my massage, it was fine. But as I’m sitting there, watching Bobby Flay on the tiny flatscreen, I just hear this awful screetch come out of the back room. Now, I hadn’t seen anyone go back there so I admit, my first thought was probably too drastic. I was like, they’re either harvesting someone’s kidney or doing back alley abortions for extra money, which was a totally racist and terrible thing to think. But the screetch just petered off in this really painful, soul scrunching way that you just knew something really bad had happened. So my girl rips off her gloves and runs back there, and first off, you won’t handle my feet without protection but you’ll touch a dead body? Don’t get me started. But she goes back, and everyone in the pedicure chairs just looks around at each other and starts to fold up our magazines, ready to literally run out of there, when this woman comes out of the back. And at first I thought she had been tanning or something, because she was really red in the face. But the women following her were yelling sorry, sorry, no problem, and something about hot wax. And when I looked again I realized she had been getting an eyebrow wax but it must have been too hot, because it had scalded the skin on her face and just left these dark red gashes under her eyebrows. And if that had been me I would have been screaming and threatening lawsuits and crying. But this woman just seemed to want to leave with as little hassle as possible, and she even thanked one woman on her way out as she paid them for deforming her like that. Then I realized that she thought it was normal to use wax so hot it literally burned a layer of her dermis off. And I had a revelation that no matter how long Jack has been out of work, I could never think that was normal. I couldn’t handle the pain – I’m just not that way. So I got up and left without even drying my nails under the ultraviolet light. And you better believe I did not leave a tip.
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- The Huntington Ladies’ Book Club – February Meeting
- Pickle the Cheetah
- Karen the Personal Trainer
- Morton the Worm at the Usury Office
- My 5 Favorite Musicals and Why, By Carla Cioca:
- Mumu the Irrelevant Mime
- Tiny Tim – Post Revisted
- Ten Prior Moments that led Jenna to this Point:
- The O. Henry Affair
- Ben’s Night Out