Modern Dating

Water BottleI think tonight we’re gonna do Italian. I thought about a whole array of cuisines but sushi is too risky if she’s more conservative and likes her food cooked, and Mexican can definitely go wrong if she’s not used to spicy food. Italian, she can fill up on bread and salad if she doesn’t like anything on the menu. I wouldn’t judge – I know people these days have special diets and certain ways of calculating what they’re putting in their bodies (I don’t, I eat whatever’s in front of me and hope for the best). From her pictures she seems like a pretty slim gal, someone who takes care of her body and monitors things like fat calories and fiber in food. We never talked about cuisine in any of our emails, even when we finally got on the phone last week the conversation strayed more toward sports and life goals as opposed to eating. Which is funny, actually, when you think about it, because eating is a really important thing in a relationship. You got someone who’s a vegetarian and someone who’s a steak-lover, tell me, how’s that gonna work out? I dated a veggie in college and she could smell steak on me days after I’d eaten – she said it dripped through her pores and the scent of massacred animals stayed in her pillows and made it hard for her to sleep in. I’ve also dated real picky eaters, narrowed menus down so much that we could never go to a sports bars or anything like that – come to think of it, those girls usually needed to be near bathrooms all the time. And then there are the ones who carry those huge metallic water bottles everywhere they go. I’m a pretty accepting guy, but come on, I used to work as a waiter! Since when is it OK to be carrying your own beverage into a restaurant or a movie theater? And since when does everyone trust that it’s water? It could be whiskey or wine for all we know, but it doesn’t seem to be something you can accuse people of these days. I looked through all 63 of her posted photos and didn’t see a water bottle in any of them, but there was a picture of her eating a lobster and smiling as she pretended to bite its head off – so all signs are pointing to a real good, relaxed first date.

This entry was posted in Character, Food, Internet, Monologue, Relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Modern Dating

  1. Monica says:

    like this one a lot-can see an actor using it as a monologue for an audition

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