Laura the Commercial Actress

Woman LaughingOh, Jesus.  I’m paired with this chick again?  I’ve just got to forget it, focus on me, not her.  Affirmation – only you can leech your own creative energy, no one else.  I just cannot believe she cost me that US Cellular commercial with her ridiculous preening and lesbian undertones, it was so outside of the script that I had no idea what to say back.  I mean, what the hell is sexy about free data plans?  The way this girl was delivering her lines, it was like she was selling one of those lonely hearts calling plans – “oh, I’m so beautiful and witty that I’m stuck in my bedroom all alone waiting for someone to pay money to talk to me over the phone!”  Affirmation – people who use sexual energy to sway casting directors have no talent underneath – don’t be one of those people.  It seems like they want a “fun, cool” vibe for this Dave and Buster’s commercial, which is different from “fun, family” that Heinz and Levis want.  “Fun, cool” is a lot of head-thrown-back-exaggeratedly-far laughing and ecstatic gesturing, while “fun, family” is a lot of closed lip smiling and affectionate patting.  OK, it’s our turn.  Affirmation – I have a face that was made to make companies money.  Here we go.  Skee ball, hysterical!  Oh Lord, no, stop with the chicken wings, I’m going to burst my kidney with all the fun I’m having.  Please, no more Dance Dance Revolution, my head might pop off from sheer happiness!  There she goes with the overly enthusiastic dancing, doing DDR like she was born on a dance pad.  Affirmation – time spent on video games is wasted time that could have been spent doing scene work.  Annnddd, I’ve lost them.  They’re staring at her while she mime swing dances with the guy actor, nevermind that there is NEVER any swing music playing in a D&B, only top 40 hits from 7 years ago.  She’s flipping her skirt and throwing her red hair around and I might as well not even be here over by Big Buck Hunter.  Another busted audition.  Affirmation – I should try to actually have a little more fun instead of faking it all the time.

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