How to Get Ahead in Business

Business CardThat girl is damn good at promoting herself, I’ll give her that.  Never hesitating to be giving everyone in the room her janky card, with those stripes and discolored photo of her face making her look like two shades darker than she is.  I think they look cheap as hell, but she’s always bragging about how so-and-so called her and raved about how professional her card was.  That’s a lie, no doubt.  But she’s got the swagger.  She comes into work, she makes sure people know what she was doing on a project and how much time she spent on it.  She never lets a meeting go by without making sure to give herself like five compliments – last week she did it like, “oh, you know the whole team did such a good job on this project, Mr. so-and-so called to tell me that we were the best team he’s ever encountered and really well directed,” knowing full WELL that she was the leader of that team and everyone knows she’s really just sayin it for her own damn sake.  It works.  I think it must be one of those subconscious things I saw on Intervention.  You just say something enough and everyone starts to believe, starts to recognize as truth.  She never be admitting when she made a mistake, either.  She makes about as many as me, but she has smart ways of talking around it so it seems almost like she meant to make the mistake, so she could explain to all of us how to fix the problem.  Yeah, I’ve been watchin her…not sure if I want to be JUST like that lady, but a little like her wouldn’t be so bad.  Get me a raise, at least.  And you must feel pretty good about yourself when you get home if you spend all day discussing how you’re pretty much the best person who ever breathed.  That would be nice.

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